The wonderful life of Lauren

This is the first post i have written in a while and i was reading my past entiries and i realized i am a total nerd.

Well i know i suck about keeping these things going. I am never going to get the hang of these. Whenever i want to write in them i start writting and then i get totally bored. Like now. Well the semester is almost over and i cannot believe it... This semester has gone by WAYYYYY too fast. It has been a really crappy semester too.. I may fail one of my classes which would REALLY REALLY suck!!! I am so tired though so i should get some shut eye. I am not going to my Physical Education class tomorrow which i really should be i just have so much work i have to do for other classes and people are just presenting their lessons so i dont see why i have to walk all the way up to St. Michaels if i am not presenting. It takes too long and is pretty much a waste of my time. I have a lot of work to do for Physical Science that i have to do tomorrow. Well i will write more maybe next year.

Well i know i havent written in a long time...i tend to forget these things. Anyways, Today is Sunday so that means....
1. i just remembered i forgot to bring back my Hymnal and Bible from home...(Crap)

2. I am sorta doing some school work but i have total ADD right now. (Pet peeve--people that say they have ADD who in actuality do not.. Go To Hell...)

3. Classes are tomorrow...(Long day on Monday..9am Statistics class, 1pm Physical Geography class.. it may sound easy but in reality... it is kicking my ass... 6pm Art class.. which i enjoy i get to turn in my montage or however you spell it)

I have a feeling i have to work extra hard this semester. But on a happier note i still cannot wait to move into the apartment next semester. It is going to be awesome.

So yesterday Lee and I were at my house for the day... Mom, Lee and I went shopping and i got a lot of clothes which were all under $100. Amazing.. i know! Lee got a T'Shirt that will look absolutely fabulous on him. :-) But it just sucks that we had to leave on Saturday because of the weather. But last night i wasnt feeling well so after dinner with Lee i came back to my room and i collapsed in the door way... which really sucked... and kinda hurt.. im just glad no one saw me do it. I told Lee and we talked a little bit but then he had to get some work done. So after an hour or so i called him to see what he was doing and he said he would come see me in a little bit so after a while he knocked on the door and when i opened it... Lee was there with flowers :-) :-) :-) i was so happy! He is so sweet. And so we watched a movie that night which was nice. but yeah in like a 1/2 hour i have to go get something to eat. So i better get some work done. This is my baby.. isnt he gorgeous???? :-)

Alright well Biology just totally sucked today... i had a test that i did study for and i thought i knew it... turns out i really didnt... i so failed that test... which really sucks cause i got a C on my last test and i REALLY want to make REAL good greades this semester. And today at 4 i have my biology lab which consists of me and the class walking all the way over near Edgewood from Compton up hill and up a steep ass hill to count flippin' trees... i would skip it but i already accidently skipped a lab once before.. so i cannot skip anymore. So life as i know it is over for right now. But its almost Friday so i am happy. Tomorrow Lee and i are going back to his house for the weekend! :-) yay! But that isnt till tomorrow so i cannot get too excited because i have a paper to write for tommorrow which i have no clue what it is about... errr.. typical right? Well better get to work.

Well today (technically yesterday) was just like any other day... Went to classes...Spent time with the love of my life... came back, watch TV, mess around on the internet... and i will be going to bed soon... I usually dont write in these things often... so i guess that is pretty much it right now...

Hmmm not much has been going on lately... its finals week...Umm i get to see Lee tonight... well like always... i miss him! Not much else to say...I know im boring... but i can do that because Sugar and I are watching Golden Girls.

WEll Hell Week has begun. I had my first final at 8 AM today. I dont know how well i did. But yeah i am exhausted. Lee and I didnt get to bed until like 3. i think. i dont remember. We spent last night studying... then after Lee got out of the library he came over and we just talked last night for like an hour or two. I always just love spending time with Lee. Sugar still isnt back yet. Hmmm i wonder when she will get back. Anyways so i have been watching Fear Factor (I was too lazy to get up and change the channel)Anyways so i am watching it and then there is a knock at the door... there was a poilice officer on the other side. He askes if i had anything to do with the guy's side. i have no clue what he was talking about. I dont know if he believed me or not.. i dont think he did. oh well i have no clue what he was talking about. well right now i am waiting for Lee to get done with his final. I dont have my last final until Thursday. Well i have to go now.

The first thoughts you get into your head when you think about the months of 2005

January: New Year, New guy, This is wonderful

Feburary: Ahh...Love is in the air.. and i couldnt be happier

March: I dont really remember much about March except having to work..

April: Favorite Time of the year... Not too hot not too cold!

May: Classes are ending.. how lovely

June: All this time you were pretending... So much for my happy ending...You cause more pain than you know...

July: Birthday month.. how nice...

August: Ready for a new College experience

October: Can it be? I found a magnificent guy? I am never going to let you go, Please dont hurt me.

November:The semester is coming near an end...oh dear..

December: Mixed feelings... but right now i am enraged... i am not in a good mood right now... i need to be with him and he will be so far away... but i'll make it... But bring on a new year!! I need it!!!

Alright so finals are coming up soon. I know i know.. i only have 2 but still i am still stressed like the rest of them. I have 1 math final which i dont understand at all and it is on the 15th at 11:15, and then i have my psych. which is at 8 AM on Monday!! DAMN IT ALL! But i digress...
So yesterday was okay until Sugar came back from a meeting she had. She told me that Megan and Amy will not sign a lease with me on a house next year. They think i am going to fail and be kicked out of school just because they know i dropped 2 classes this semester cause i wasnt ready for all this work cause i am not used to it. and i have a learning disability (ADD. So basically i am pissed. And Sugar said she isnt signing a lease with them now. So i was like wow thats great until she told me she is transfering next year... (What a kick in the face!huh?) She said she is going to Virginia Tech... Great huh? That is my school. The one i have wanted to go to since i was a junior in high school. Now Jason is saying he is going to transfer too... which i highly highly doubt. VT is expensive and it is a hard school academic wise... that is why i am not going. it is real demanding and no one seems to understand that. Oh well. But it doenst really matter i guess. They do what they want to do. Lee told me he would never leave me. Which was nice to hear. It made me feel better.
My relationship with Lee is very weird. Sometimes i can just get so mad at him for you know not saying the right thing at the right time or something. ( I know i am a total bitch for thinking like that. i dont mean to.) At first i really didnt think Lee and i were going to work out. But now, i honestly cant see myself without him. Lee is amazing. Even though sometimes i can get a little perturbed. Whenever i am with him it's just amazing. When Tyler broke up with me i vowed right then and there i would never find someone like Tyler again. And well i havent. But honestly i think i found someone better. Lee might not be as romantic as Tyler was but that doesnt matter cause he is nicer than Tyler was and he isnt morbid and all about death and distruction. Those are the kind of guys that i am used to. And it is so wonderful that i found someone that actually is going somewhere in life. Not just another dead beat that dropped out of high school. I have only loved two guys that i have gone out with... Stephen.. and Tyler. Both dropped out of high school. Tyler dropped out because he thought he was smarter than everyone else and he could do everything on his own. Stephen couldnt go past the 10th grade... he was supposed to graduate this year. I dont even know if that guy is still alive. ( although i hope he is) But i am just so happy with Lee. He is amazing. And i hope he really likes me too. He says he does all the time and when he says it for the first time i actually believe it. I just really hope he doesnt have second thoughts about this relationship. Cause i dont know what i would do if Lee decided he didnt want to spend the rest of his life with one person right now. Cause that is why Tyler broke up with me. ( Actually he broke up with me for many reasons.) But that is just what i am afraid is going to happen... i am afraid one day when i fall totally head over heels in love with him he is just going to say..."It isnt going to work out, I dont know what i want out of life yet, And i dont know if i want to settle down with one person right now." And blah blah blah .... cause i have gotten that statement so many times before.
i have had way too many boyfriends and they have all ended horribly... from Stephen ( Long distant relationship, Going out for a year and 4 months, went to college in Pittsburgh just to be with him, He is a "vampire" but i loved him anyways... Dont ask me why...and we had a mutual break up that killed me cause he was my first love and my first lover... if you know what i mean.) To Mike ( Italian...do i have to say more? Romantic enough but always wanted to "be physical" even though i never went all the way with him... He dumped me because he though i was getting too psysical with him... yeahhhh riiiigghhtt...) Then David ( Well not much to say about David except that he cheated on me with and ugly short ass slut who has herpes and then she cheated on him after a year of them going out with one of his good friends... who now lives in michigan... Alright enough about her... i dont like her...) Then Frye actually his name is Adam but his last name is Frye so that is why i call him that...( We arent going there with Adam cause he is the one guy i seriously hate... He did something to me that is unforgivable and i am going to go talk about it on here.. cause it isnt something to announce to the world...i just want to say...i fucking hate you Frye...i fucking hate you.) Then Tyler...( No words can describe my relationship with Tyler... He was the love of my life... i loved him way more than Stephen... i wanted to give it all up for him and settle down with him forever...Then he ripped my heart out of my chest...And now i dont even know him anymore...)
I just know that Lee is different. It's just REAL hard for me to trust people. especially with cheaters like David...The Adam Frye's out their and the one who lead you on and just break you into a million pieces like Tyler. Lee is different... i know he is...i hope he is... i couldnt stand to lose him.

Alright i have written too much already... i have to study... Damn procrastination....

Well i am home for the weekend. Not too exciting... i have a doctors appointment tomorrow and then Dad,Katie,Joe and I are going to chop down the Christmas Tree. Then i dont know what... i will probably study...or something... So tonight Rob IMed me and said they are all drunk already... they were just pregamming they havent even gona to Phi Tau... They are probably GONE now... Adam has been really been acting weird lately... Lee told me he doesnt think that Adam is coming back next year... I am not happy. Adam is like one of my good friends... i dont want to lose him but i guess i have no choice. So the bathtub is done so now i can take a bath at home FINALLY!!! So Emma is around the house now. She is Katie and Joe's 4 month old Great Dane...She is so cute...but she is HUGE! I just watched Jim Carry get hit by a truck...So yeah i guess i better be going now cause i dont know what else to say...

Hello... This is my first post. There isnt much going on right now...Sugar and I are just watching Golden Girls. I dont know what else is going on today... I know i dont have anymore classes... But i do have to study for my Psych. test tomorrow. It will be my last test before the final. I am getting a 'C' in the class but i think it is a low C so i better get a move on.